


cause I’m feeling like a creep here, standing on the outside (tunnel vision stares cut to the bone)

by Thakh_Gaii



Series: lost in a dream i had when i was young (no, i never woke up from it) [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Aromantic Asexual Nimah Faazal, Asexual James Sirius Potter, Gen, Indian Character, Muggle Life, Muggle-born Culture, Muggle-born Pride, Muslim Character, OC Perspective, POV Third Person, Panic Attacks, Queerplatonic Relationships, Yep! That's a tag now because I said so, because the wizarding world is fundamentally messed up if you think about it too hard, pretty much Nimah's view of i don't need a saviour, they want it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26728906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thakh_Gaii/pseuds/Thakh_Gaii
Summary: Nimah Faazal didn’t know what to really do with the fact that one of her friend’s godsiblings was so...unbelievably extra any chance he got.Somehow he still scored well, and under that air-headedness, she met a different James entirely- Smarter than he seems, and much more thoughtful on the inside, though he did his level best to suppress it (whyhe would is something Nimha still doesn’t get.)So, needless to say, the mystery of James Sirius Potter was something she thought of quite often, whenever she didn’t have much else to think about.Nimah's point of view.
Relationships: James Sirius Potter & Nimah Faazal, James Sirius Potter & Original Female Character(s), Queerplatonic James Sirius Potter/Nimah Faazal, Queerplatonic Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter, Teddy Lupin/Original Female Character
Series: lost in a dream i had when i was young (no, i never woke up from it) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1942549
Kudos: 10





	cause I’m feeling like a creep here, standing on the outside (tunnel vision stares cut to the bone)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [ 'Freak like Me'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMzKp-vDfj4)by Transviolet

Nimah Faazal didn’t know what to really do with the fact that one of her friend’s godsiblings was so...unbelievably extra any chance he got.

James Sirius Potter was almost exactly what you’d expect from the firstborn child of Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley: Sporty, Perfect, and Quick-tempered to the end. Well, like them in all ways but one.

He didn’t seem to spend very much time with his family, or even want to. All he ever seemed to have in his head was Quidditch, Girls and yammering about trivial nonsense with his friends.

Somehow he still scored well, and under that air-headedness, she met a different James entirely- Smarter than he seems, and much more thoughtful on the inside, though he did his level best to suppress it ( _why_ he would is something Nimah still doesn’t get.)

So, needless to say, the mystery of James Sirius Potter was something she thought of quite often, whenever she didn’t have much else to think about.

…

Contrary to popular belief, Nimah and Fatimah are muggle borns who have no intentions of remaining permanently tied to the Wizarding World. This is nothing but a way to tuition-free enhance their control over their inborn magic. They both do night classes to catch up on regular school material, so they both learned time dilation in space while learning that stars could predict the future, and that was a confusing lot.

This obviously means that around exam season, neither of them have much sleep to spare, but in the end it’s worth it. Nimah wants to be an astronomer, mapping out the stars for all to see. As surprising as this is for anyone who’s met her (Except Teddy, who’s never looked at her like she’s strange, the dark-skinned hijabi girl with the universe always on her mind who can’t talk to other people very well.), Nimah scores averagely in Hogwarts ( _what kind of a name_ ) to excel in science. Fair trade. Minimal control, and she’s gone.

So when she and her sister are up on the (supposedly cursed, nobody uses it) Astronomy Tower for better signal and see James Potter and the rest of his family clamouring around the school, chanting the names Albus and Scorpius, she’s very much intrigued.

…

James Potter after his brother goes missing for the fourth (the fourth!) time is inconsolable, ditching his old group, letting himself stop being loud in the common rooms, and generally being very different. All house common rooms can be entered with secret passageways, as discovered by Fred II. So whenever on the off-chance Nimah, Teddy and Fatimah are in the Gryffindor common room, there’s always James Potter, looking sad and staring into the fireplace.

Teddy makes the first move, by plopping next to James, who is curled up on the nice couch, eyes reflecting the fire (red, brick-coloured), and lays next to him, the hand rest-sitting equivalent of being spread-eagled, one leg lolling off the side, the other straight along the armrest, one hand on support, one for putting on his godbrother’s shoulder, a silent kind of comfort.

Fatimah leaves eventually, having an exam and all, but Nimah and Teddy stay near, because what else can be done?

…

When Albus Severus Potter comes home, James doesn’t revert back to his old self like he did all three other times. Instead, he avoids his old friends, and spends as much time with his family as humanly possible.

If his younger siblings aren’t available, he’s with Teddy, and with Teddy means with Nimah. 

The James Potter that Nimah Faazal meets is quiet, intelligent, and likes looking up at the night sky at stupid hours in the night. He has a sweet tooth instead of the Potter’s love of savoury, and admits that talking about sex makes him queasy- the thought of it does, really.

He doesn’t yet understand the concept of aromanticism, but he’s doing his best, so Nimah will let him be.

At some point, there’s a Muggle Studies assignment about religious fashion, and Fatimah teaches him the differences between a Hijab, a Burka and a Shayla.

She and James slowly become closer, over these last few months, talking about everything and nothing all at once, hanging out even without Teddy as a buffer because he’s so busy with his NEWT’s ( _Why would a sane person call them Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests? She wants more crazy people._ ). Sometimes they don’t stop talking for hours at a time, and others they spend that same time in a completely comfortable silence, studying, or reading.

It’s… quite nice, really, to have another friend.

…

When term ends, Nimah’s surprised that correspondence from James continues. She expected letters from Teddy, sure, but James? Either way, she takes it all in stride as well as she can.

That last summer before college was used celebrating a seventeenth birthday, exchanging hilarious letter threads, introducing James to the hellsites of Reddit and Tumblr, and helping each other in more ways than one. Some days, over Discord (because The Potter House is weirdly-electronics-friendly), Nimah has to coax James out of anxiety attacks, others he’s helping her remember that Hogwarts is temporary, she has college ahead of her, and this is the last and final year.

Nimah thinks that this is what solidifies their friendship, making it as real as it is. Teddy stays in the loop, but more quietly. He works in a muggle retail store, and jokes, sometimes, that Harry Potter will end up so shocked that two of his kids have no intention of remaining parts of the Wizarding World, after how much it messed them up, put them in boxes they no longer wanted to be in. At least for Teddy, there’s his father, who left for the muggle world himself not long after the war. _(He and Harry are barely on better terms)_

That’s when Nimah learns that James wants to follow her, maybe not to the stars, but definitely not here, in a world that loves them till they try being their own person, instead of carrying a name forward.

She smiles and flips the bird at him. He flips back.

…

Nimah is there, when James calls her at stupid-o-clock in the morning, having a panic attack from a fallout with his parents about leaving.

James is there, when another stupid, stupid passersby tries to pull off her hijab for the unpteenth time.

Teddy and Fatimah are there, with solace when the world has none left for them.

It works.

…

Last year at Hogwarts- James starts night classes and has to learn things he should have learned when he was eleven. If their sleep schedules were shot to hell before, they no longer exist now. Nimah and James manage to laugh at it all, much to Teddy’s chagrin.

Fatimah’s in her first year of pre-med, and she’s doing even worse.

Albus and Scorpius become additions to their little group, with Albus taking classes whenever possible, just so that the muggle world is open to him later on. They aren’t there all the time, but there quite a bit nonetheless.

_(Nimah wants to tell Lily and Rose and Hugo that the friends they have only want them for their name, and essentially nothing else. Being a social pariah has its perks, as James and Albus are clear examples of.)_

James eventually forgets to take care of himself, with some stupid guilt complex of not deserving it, after everything with his brother went down. They snap him out of it fast, and on the days it does come back, then everyone stays nearby, sitting flush next to him and running their mouths with dumb jokes and braiding hair because apparently, without the straightener, James’s hair is very curly.

(James admits that he’s fallen for the stars hard and fast, and she laughs from her belly, mouth wide and tells him “told you so!”, and they collapse, star-shaped seventeen-year-olds on the old Astronomy tower laughing till their stomachs hurt and their ribs get tough because things are just so _nice_ , right?)

…

It’s not like her life is all them. Come winter break, Albus and James stay in school, not wanting to put up with inquiring (sometimes insensitive) siblings that christmas, but they visit Molly and Arthur Weasley for a few days anyways, and it seems to go well. Nimah does go home, and spends that last winter with her family- Amma teaches her how to braid flowers into her hair, Papa helps her with college applications (and she saves the knowledge to teach James, and Al if the time comes), and Fatimah helps her get up to some of the dumbest pranks. Farukh comes home from Pakistan (Where the rest of the relatives are), and heartily joins in on their fun, and maybe imparts some nice life advice.

Even Teddy comes by that break, somehow dating her sister (“WHAT?! TED! Details. Now”) and James gets all the blackmail material. Overall, it’s a nice winter break, all things considered.

(In the night, all the Faazal household members come together, one more time, Fatimah’s slender hands flying across the piano, Nimah and Amma beltings out stupid pop songs at the top of their lungs and giggling at the lyrics, Appa and Farukh and Fatimah bending themselves in half with laughter and it’s just so wonderful.)

...

The end of the year feels like one long, caffeine-induced, hazy hallucination with the cacophony of owls screeching and ink scratching on parchment as the background soundtrack.

House elves can suddenly make redbull, coffee is sacred, Al and Scorpius are looking at them confusedly half the goddamn time, and the screen of both hers and James’s laptops will never leave the back of Nimah’s mind

It’s on one of those nights, with Both of them huddled up on James’s bed, treating themselves to a very good finals week by watching mothman documentaries and Critical Role with even more caffeine in their cups, flush against each other with her hijab off because this boy is family, that James brings up the question.

What will they do once they’re in college? Will they even stay together? Because Nimah’s starting to admit that if she has a queerplatonic partner at all, then it’s this boy, and James agrees with her. She doesn’t want to say goodbye.

So they adjust their positions, so that they’re facing each other, and bring out their pinkies, crouching down with smirks on their faces and legs crossed on the top bunk with magic-proofed headphones just shy of falling out, and with the music they promise to never leave each other’s sides, because wouldn’t that be stupid?

Then James slurps his drink with the grossest possible sound and Nimah is so so glad that that Nick kid he used to bunk with transferred to Beauxbatons this year, because otherwise the roommate would've been rudely awoken, and they giggle again, because isn’t this stupid? They’re both seventh-years! They’re supposed to be mature, and sensible, even though they’re both literal human disasters (“flaming garbage cans” James whispers into Nimah’s ear, and she snorts and blows right into his, and he shrieks) who were definitely never meant to be friends but did it anyway, and neither of them would have it any other way.

…

Graduation comes, and the four of them (because Al and Scorp decided to tag along) are coming down from the astronomy tower, stomachs still aching from laughing for no reason, and Harry Potter is at the foot of the tower.

James walks past him, with not much more than a wave and a smile, Albus going up to hug him real quick.

Teddy and Fatimah pick them all up, this rowdy crew of teenagers, and they drive to the nearest Baskin Robbins because who the hell can tell them no? James was eighteen months ago, and she’s nearly there! They’re adults and nobody can stop them, so they sing to Renegades in the car, off tune and at the top of their voices,, arms flailing about and the backseat a heap of lively, laughing bodies, happier than they’ve all felt in ages because holy crow life is awesome.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are very much welcome!
> 
> My [ Tumblr](https://blue-also-writes-now.tumblr.com)


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